Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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