I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
