Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just want nice things and good sex
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
