I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Couch. On fire.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
