I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
