that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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