Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
