talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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