woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
