maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
