I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
