You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
