my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
