So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
