Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
wanna go halves on a baby?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
