her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
