im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
