is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm really busy with my period
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