Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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