So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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