"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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