low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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