Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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