Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
This is the high leading the old right now
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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