What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
