so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize