Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
