at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My liver just broke up with me...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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