Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
