Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
bring money and cleavage
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
