the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
