Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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