Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
