we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
