I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
