I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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