This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
