i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I will pee on everything he values.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
