i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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