How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
