wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
