I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
