He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
