If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
