someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
