Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
