I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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