yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
And then my night got REAL pukey
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
