I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
