Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
How naked do you want me to be?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
