i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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