I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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