like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
