That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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