i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
