No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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