my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
