youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Drake has all the answers
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
