his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
