Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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