that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
