My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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