I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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