Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize