what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
