We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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