He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
