I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
