Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
