You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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