She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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