who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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