Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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