yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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