More tranny stories later!
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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