im holly from the hills drunk
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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