Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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