You made me cry and you don't even care
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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