you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
