I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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